18 of 1000 – Trust Your Judgement

img_6434Amy, “Sounds cliché but, make your own decisions – trust your judgment! So many people have so many opinions about parenting, and truly YOU know what’s best for your family.Tip #1

Amy’s not afraid of a challenge.  Not only did she quickly accept my invitation to contribute her parenting tips, she has 3 children, girls – 3, 7, 10!  Yikes!  Wherever did she find the time!

Amy’s #1 tip, on trusting your judgement, has been advice offered by a few Moms.  In my case, trusting my judgement would not have been a good idea.

As you may be noticing, I did not have much foundation, or “maternal intuition.” My experiences were limited, my perception distorted, my environment was toxic, and my judgement – not so good.

Gee, thinking about solely relying on my judgement is a frightening concept, likely ending in terrible outcomes. Instead, I primarily trusted the judgement of three strong women:  my Mom, my therapist, and Oprah.  They advised me on most things.

Oprah gave me hope.  My therapist empowered and reassured me.   My Mom gave me a kick in the ass, an occasional twenty bucks, and sometimes a babysitter.

I can see over time, I did develop some sound judgement.  Now, when I don’t need it, it’s laser sharp!

I’m so happy for Moms who were prepared to parent, and am happy for their children. What a comfort to hear the voice of reason, or the direction intuition offers.  My head was so noisy with self-hatred, doubt, and uncertainty, it is only the judgement of others that got us through the first six years.

Before too long, I did start to get my ‘parenting chops.’  Any smarts I developed were only acquired through my contact, or observations, of the strong women around me.  I’m forever grateful for the judgement of others, and my willingness to seek it.

In my mentors, I found much of the advice shared by Amy and other Moms.  Things seemingly easy for some, required repetition and focus for me. I was not at all equipped to be a Mom, but I was a quick and eager study!

In further communication with Amy she mentioned she too was terrified in the beginning.  She also did not trust her judgement, reading every book, and examining every mark.  She, as do many, came to learn in the end, it is up to us as parents to decide what’s best.

I’m guessing Amy was also a quick study!

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