Lisa, “Realize your child is growing up. With my son, now 21 it’s hard for me to realize he’s an adult. I still think of him as a little boy. I have finally concludes he is grown. Now, I am glad we can be friends. Although at times we still fight, he can now see I only have his best interest at heart.” Tip #2
I can so related to Lisa’s tip #2, the challenges in realizing your son is growing up. I also see my 26-year-old son as a baby. I see those little four-year old cheeks (even with the stubble), his impish grin, and boyish charm. I still see my baby in his eyes.
I asked a Mom friend of mine about this. She said the same is true for her. Her three boys are much older than Michael, and she often sees their baby faces, and one even has a beard.
I wonder if it’s a gift. Maybe it’s a sort of special power, or vision, only granted to Moms. A little something unique to us, just for us.
I’m sure it can be an annoyance to the adults we’ve raised. Especially if we try to wipe a smudge of chocolate off their face by licking our thumb. I do resist that.
I have gotten better at managing my urge to “Mother” Michael. I’m not sure seeing the little boy will ever leave, or even if I want it too. In the meantime, I’m careful not to treat him like a baby. Even though I do slip up in small ways, I respect his decisions, and avoid interference.
I secretly hold on to my role by passing him an occasional $20, even though he no longer needs one. I might make him a special meal, hug a little tighter, and get caught gazing at him in a Motherly way. I try not to remind him he needs to shave, get a haircut, or highlight if I think looks tired. I’ve learned those comments will evoke a snarly glance, and can even suck the energy out of the room.
I’m still working to adjust myself, and my tone, in this adult relationship. I am careful not to charge into his life with unsolicited ‘wisdom,’ but hope to at times it may be invited.
I recognize Michael is now a man, a married man even, and soon-to-be a Dad! He is upholding his responsibilities, and working hard to enjoy and to build a beautiful life, even if he does look four years old to me.
I’ll patiently wait for the day, he struggles to see his baby as an adult. I’ll cherish each day of his journey, as I do my own.