Jodi, “Talk positively about them to others, while they are listening.” Tip 7
Jodi believes the number one goal of every parent should be to raise their children with a “solid self-esteem.” She recommends urgency in establishing this foundation given, as we know, we are only in charge for a limited time!
Parents gets a small window of time to influence their kids. Following our best efforts, in what seems like minutes, peers start closing in. As early as pre-school, peers surface, and only gain momentum in terms of influence. It starts even before we see it coming!
When I read Jodi’s tip #7 I smiled. I love that tip! “Talk positively about them to others, while they are listening.” I did this. I thought it was brilliant then, and I think it’s brilliant now! I kept most talk positive, but especially when I was highlighting Michael’s behavior.
This practice was key in helping Michael formulate his own self-beliefs. He heard through my voice, and perspective, what mattered. Sometimes Michael heard it directly, via praise; other times, indirectly via reports to family and friends ensuring his unnoticed-yet-noticed presence. Either method is effective, both preferred.
In knowing, what you emphasis will repeat, it seems crazy to hear parents emphasize and repeat negative messages. I am amazed when adults gripe, or complain, about their child’s behavior, at all – let alone in front of the child. I never understood the rationale held by those who attempt to shame or embarrass their children. Completely counter productive to the direction we’re all heading.
With so much information available on parenting, and on self-esteem, there is no value in hosting deflating conversations in, around, or about children. It is absolutely baffling! When I witness it, it is as if I’m watching a physical assault; although it’s verbal, it seems violent it!
In those moments, I’d love to bust in with some research, or unsolicited wisdom. Knowing because parents generally don’t look so fondly on unsolicited advice, all can do is manage my own behavior. Oh yeah, and write a book. So I wrote a book!
In the meantime, Thumper said it best, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.”
Thanks to Jodi for restating the importance of self-esteem, and for highlighting ways we can build, and be aware of, self-beliefs. The world is a much friendlier place when children and parents believe in themselves, and their ability to handle things.
Jodi invites all those interested to check out her web-page www.HealthyHeartHypnosis.com, or find her on Facebook as Jodi of Healthy Heart Hypnosis.”