Mom 88, “Try to show them respect, and expect them to respect you. If you don’t get respect, find out why. Fix it.“ Tip 2
Respect tops the list of things Moms most want to teach their children. It was mentioned by over 30 Moms, using the word over 100 times. Moms are clear. They wants their kids to have respect and to give it. Moms want respect for nature, each other, family, neighbors, money, education, elderly, friends, and for self. Respect is a big ticket item for Moms!
“Mom 88” is my oldest participating Mom. She is a retired teacher, who continues her focus on health, happiness and family. Her 9 children now range in age from 50-66, 5 girls and four boys. She works to keep in touch, and is happy to help wherever she can.
Reading her tips made me smile, as I imagined a household, so long ago, with nine children, a working Mom, and all of these sweet factors. Her experience and wisdom conjured up warm feelings, of a thought to be simpler – yet complicated – time.
I absolutely love tip #2, particular with the added caution, “if you are not getting respect find out why, and fix it!” I recall a time in my early teens, when my Mom stated I had not spoken to my father in two years. Firstly, if that was true, it is painful and ridiculous it had not been addressed in two years; however, some learning did occur because of being addressed. Better late than never, I guess.
I recall the three of us has some sort of “sit-down.” In that episode, I was maybe 10. I cried and cried with a shattered heart. Coming from the discussion arose my hurt having seen my Dad take two neighborhood boys fishing. I had never been taking fishing, I had a blue bedroom, and was certain my Dad would have preferred a boy. Although, he adamantly denies.
Unfortunately, in my case, my misery was not rectified nor my family dysfunction repaired. I think my Mom was well intended, albeit late. The message is best surmised in addressing the disrespect, not punishing it!
At times it may seem ‘peace-keeping’ to let disrespect slide. To me, disrespect is a battle worth picking. I too believe the source is worth digging for.
I can imagine for Mom 88, with 9 children and a full-time job, dissecting disrespect may have been a timely matter; however, worth every minute.
Respect really does go both ways. Adding to “Mom 88’s” tip #2, if you are not respecting your child, find out way and fix it!
Wonderful hearing from “Mom 88!” I hope to someday have the pleasure of meeting her in person!