94 of 1000 – Fabric of the Soul

Lisa H.,  “Choose your words wisely as they become the stitching that binds the fabric of your child’s life!Tip 7

Lisa is a Mom I chased down in Costco.  I had a suspicion, I needed her tips the book.  I’m happy to say, after our passionate Costco encounter, and my mad persuasion skills, she agreed to share her thoughts.

Over the years, I have marveled at all she does, and how she smiles while doing it. I struggled to explain Lisa as a Mom.  The words escaped me.

I searched Google for the definition of “Mother” and “Motherhood.” They really need to work on that.  I half expected to see Lisa’s picture in my search! I was hoping Google would help out, but the search was of no value.

Ironically, I found internet definitions to be cold, and disconnected to the essence of what exactly a Mother is. Recognizing that, I did gain some descriptors for Lisa, as she is the opposite of cold and disconnected.  Lisa is warm and connected!

Lisa has gone through two-rounds of parenting.  Having had one child in her late teens, she ventured into the parenting journey a second time.  Lisa is thrilled to be parenting two more girls and a little boy. She is now raising three little people with all the love and attention she can muster.

Lisa has constructed her life to maximum her time with her children.  She has built a successful home-based business, and is living her life to the fullest.  She is enjoying the view of her oldest daughter charging into adulthood, while preparing her three babies for the same.  She is focused and deliberate in all she does.

Lisa is constantly re-evaluating to ensure she is giving her family all they need, and is doing her personal best.  Still in the thick-of things, she and hasn’t had much time to take a breath, let alone reflect on her best practices.  She is so busy practicing her best, she has little time has time for much else.

I just loved the words, concept, and the visual of Lisa’s 7th tip, I love it. “Choose your words wisely, they become the stitching that binds the fabric of your child’s life.” Another quotable!

It was so figurative, yet, somewhat literal. I agree, absolutely everything we say and do shapes the minds of our little ones.  It is so important to be mindful, present, and aware of words and the power of them.  We have a responsibility to make our kids feel as special as they truly are.

Knowing far too well the pain of negative words and ridicule, I was acutely aware of the importance of my words.  I knew, what I told Michael would become his inner voice.  I worked deliberate every day at developing this inner voice for him.  I vowed it would be nothing like mine.

During almost every interaction, I was boosting Michael’s confidence.  I told Michael, he was already everything I hoped he would become.

As I’ve often eluded too, from as early as age three, I would say things such as, “I know you’ll make the right decision, because you’re great at decision making.” “You are so smart.” “You are a leader.” “You are a good listener.”  “You are a quick learner.” “You are so kind.”

As Michael got older, the messages were more sophisticated. “You’ll make a great boyfriend someday.” “You are so respectful.” “You are such a hard worker.” “You are a great friend.” “You are responsible.”

As I’m sure you’ve gleaned, my inner voice was a psychological prison. It was relentless and searing. That voice was so loud, so booming, it continues to echo in my mind from time to time.  In my parenting, I made every conscious and constant effort to provide an inner voice of strength, ability, and positivity!

Using opposite messages {to those in my childhood}, was the single most effective guiding principle in my parenting plan.  It was my governing practice.  It was the first technique I developed.

I told Michael he was great at saving money, before he got allowance.  I told him he was wonderful at handling conflict, before he had a fight.  I told him he was a strong decision maker, before he ever had to decide.

Michael learned about himself through my eyes and my words.  He became all I believed he would be.  Michael only had positive messages in his world, and his mind – positive in, positive out.  It was highly effective!

My respect, admiration, and wonderment to Lisa, and all Moms attempting to delicately weave the fabric of these little souls.

Hope you never drop a stitch, or at least, catch it quickly!

 

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