Me, “Teach your children you matter.” Tip 6
I felt this teaching point needed its own space because, well let’s face it, we are pretty important.
As Moms we are quick to say, “Don’t worry about me” and then seem surprised when no one worries about us. I’m just not sure we’re giving the best message when, if, we say that. It may be better to say, “Don’t worry about me, but do think about me, consider me, call me, include me, and value me.”
Of course, I wouldn’t want Michael to ‘worry’ about me. I was careful to ensure Michael was not burdened, or even bothered, with my feelings or fears. I never wanted to expose him to complicated adult matters.
I felt that any time or ‘worry’ spent wondering about me, would interfere with his learning and development. It was important to me that I protected his childhood.
That said it is also important that our kids value us. I think they should know Moms have worries, and fears. Not in a way that brings concern or anxiety, but in that feelings are normal and universal.
It’s OK for him to know, I work on my things, my growth, my maturity, in the same way I expected him to work on his. I wanted Michael to see me as a person – a strong, dependable person, a loving, secure person, but a person.
If we, as Moms, don’t value ourselves or, even worse, spend time with people who disrespect or disregard us, it is likely our children will do the same. Through our behavior, we teach them what’s important. We teach them how to treat us in the way we allow people to treat us. It’s important to behave respectful and to expect respect if we hope to ensure the respect of our children.
It is another one of those ‘fine lines.’ We as parents don’t want our children to be overly concerned with us. Sadly, some kids take on a parental role losing their childhood by caring too much, being too attentive, and shifting into a care-giver role. If we care about ourselves our children will not fall into this pit.
Moms definitely matter!
If we don’t feel as if we matter, and others around don’t behave in a way that honors and respects us, there is much work to be done.
If we teach our children we matter, they come understand our role to be one of value and importance. They will see our position, as we see it, as we present it in front of them. We do matter and are valuable and important!
This value will set the stage as to how your children will respect you in their adulthood. This will be the template for how they will be respected by their own children.
Teaching your children you matter will inadvertently demonstrate to their children, your grandchildren, that their parents matter. If this value is firmly established, generationally the cycle in your family, the legacy, will be – women matter.
I hope all Moms know this to be true. I hope they accept it, and honor their place of privilege. I also hope all those around them demonstrate, “Mom matters.”
Always remember, sometimes it’s ok to have the last piece of cake.