14 of 100 Dads – Patience

Darcy is the lucky man to have locked in my sweet cousin Nicole, (Mom #80). Together they are raising three of the cutest little children, the first now hitting her teenage years. With two girls and a boy they work to give them all they had and more.

Darcy loves being a Dad and watching his children grow. He enjoys seeing their characters blossom and identifying how his influence is contributing to their spirits. Darcy has great fun watching them learn new things and develop in new ways.

Darcy, “Patience, you need lots and lots of patience, especially for your wife.” Tip 4

I really appreciate when parents highlight the need for patience. I also love that he encourages an added layer of patience’s for your partner.

Patience was and continues to be a tough one for me. What a gift you can give your children if you master patience, or even work on it, if only a slight awareness. I think it is the most fortunate of kids who do not have parents demanding urgency all day, every day.

As for Michael, he did not always have the luxury of a patient Mom. I really didn’t find, apply, patience until 16 years in, and one huge spinal cord injury later. Only when urgency and haste was no longer an option was I able to develop patience. Patience became a non-negotiable.

Up until Michael’s injury, I truly thought it was my job to teach him to hurry. I hurried in all I did and in all I expected. I hurried to the playground and to the tree-climbing. I basically raced from one teachable moment to the next.

Come on Michael! Move it Michael. Let’s go Michael! Hurry up Michae! Get your hat! Mitts! In the car! Hurry and eat! Shower! Do homework! Grow up! Those phrases were all far too common in our home. It was unnecessary and anxiety producing for everyone.

I hope no parent will ever learn patience as I have come to learn patience. I wish no parent ever finds their lesson as I did: the hard earned lesson taught to me by way of a spinal cord injury. It was only after Michael’s injury did I realize the madness I created.

Following the injury my life, and Michael’s recovery, required every fiber of my being to suppress my need to rush. I remember within days it was evident to me: I could never use the word “hurry” again. I learned patience only because impatience was no longer an option.

The self-awareness was painful. I was haunted by my urge to push. I became acutely aware of constant rushing. I was even more aware — there was absolutely no need.

It saddens me to know I imposed such anxiety on the simple processes of day-to-day life. I really felt all things could be done faster. It was as if life was in slow motion.

I believed my incessant pushing was required to keep things in motion, to keep the world spinning. I did not have patience. If I was not rushing Michael, I was thinking about rushing him.

Today, I still don’t excel in the area; however, I am much better at keeping my attitude to myself. It has taken me a long time to understand people move at their own speed, on their own time and have a schedule not reliant on my intense directives. I’m not so self-important now.

I am thrilled for Darcy’s children! Having patient parents is a treasure not granted to all children. It is a virtue.

Thanks Darcy. Glad you joined in.

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