18 of 100 Dads – Swearing

Miller is husband to Cathy (100 Moms #45). Together, in retirement, they enjoy every minute with their beautiful family. They have raised a soldier, a police officer, and a doctor, three men now raising their own children.

Miller was an ever-present Dad. He loved showing the boys all things boyish. They played together and learned together. Having come from a great family himself, Miller was sure to instill strong family values in his children. His wish is they continue to live a healthy and happy life enjoying all the same things with their own children.

Miller, “Don’t swear in front of your kids and don’t make a fool of yourself, or your kids, in public.” Tip 9

Choosing one of Miller’s tip was tough. There’s so much we agree on. In the end, I decided to go with tip #9 on swearing. I too upheld a no swearing policy.

To be ‘big on’ not swearing requires impeccable self-control. Being raised by a man who lovingly and not-so-lovingly, referred to me in a variety of not-so-colorful ways, one might imagine I had grown to have quite a nasty tongue. I did.

Early in my parenting I had somewhere picked up the theory that those with high self-confidence didn’t need to swear — likely a word of advice from someone trying to help. With that awareness, combined with my governing principle (be the type of person you hope your child will marry); I was driven into a cleaner vocabulary.

To truly apply this rule we as parents had to refrain from cursing. I am proud and amazed I was able to do this. It was hard. 

Michael didn’t hear me say a foul word until he turned 18. He later stated, “Knowing her as an adult, I know how hard that must have been.” He doesn’t know half of it.

My cursing was never far below the surface. As soon as Michael was out of ear-shot it was as if a switch was flipped. I would go back to my “Mother (Father)-tongue,” in seconds.

Big Mike let loose a little sooner than I. He brought Michael to the construction site at an early age. He wasn’t much to hold back; however, at home the bar was high.

I’m a strong believer that as parents, we don’t have the luxury of “losing our shit.” To me, cursing in front of your kid is “losing your shit.” It’s modeling low standards, poor behavior and loss of control. (But, maybe that’s just me.)

In Miller’s case, it may not have been such a struggle, especially under the fine tutelage of his wife. I know she too has a high standard on appropriate language and conduct. With these role models their boys were off to a great start!

Thanks Mr. and Mrs. P. All my love to you both.

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