Greg S. is Dad to two teens, a boy and a girl. As we know, the teen years are tough on most of us. It’s important to remember, and to remind each other, chances are the kids will like you again.
In the meantime, Greg has the beautiful memories of the early years to warm his heart and remind him of their cuteness. Christmas, Halloween and special family moments are his dearest memories, and what he’s loved most about his parenting journey.
Greg, “Tell them frequently how beautiful they are and how beautiful the world is. Focus on the positive.” Tip 10
I can rarely pass up a chance to discuss positivity as seen throughout Greg’s tips, but more directly stated in his 10th tip.
Positivity has been my largest pillar of parenting, my most deeply held value, and likely my most successful technique. That said, it was the hardest perspective to uphold and encourage, particularly when raised in negativity.
I did do my very best to role model positivity, security and confidence, while simultaneously working to make gains in all areas myself. I was careful to not discuss my overall generally grim perspective. I wanted only positivity in Michael’s environment.
To me, role modeling was my most significant responsibility as a parent. I took it seriously!
I didn’t want to darken his world in any way. I didn’t call attention to my dissatisfaction, fears, and angst. I refused to put my lens of life, or of the world, over Michael’s eyes.
I only knew the world to be a hurtful and a hateful place; however, in spite of that I believed different. I sought to find different views, different ways. I was intentional in ensuring a better outlook for Michael.
Parenting in spite of this negative perspective, may have been my greatest feat.
It was important to me Michael see the world as a positive place, full of opportunity and happiness. I wanted him to be considering all possibilities, always knowing he had the personal power to do anything.
I was painfully aware of how negative messages could defeat a spirit. I was confident the cycle would not continue. Kids should only see the bright and colorful side of life for as long as possible.
As Greg mentions in an earlier tip, kids do have to be exposed to the darker side. I too have come to learn, darkness does appear. In my experience, a light can be found even in the deepest sadness. Admittedly, sometimes it’s hard to find but it’s up to parents to dig for that light.
I can report positive parenting methods have been highly successful. So successful that these days, the student has become the teacher! Michael has become my positive role model. With no time for gossip, and depressive antidotes, Michael is happy in, and happy out.
Of course he’s is not immune to negative feelings and has not been protected from life’s hardships. Michael chooses to give the ‘dark-side’ little to no time. He is progressive in all he thinks, all he does, and in what he says.
Michael demonstrates the value of ‘clear-colored glasses’ with every interaction we have. He does not have the burden of ‘shit-colored glasses,’ nor will he have to contend with the issues found in ‘rose-colored glasses.’ He gets reality and knows his personal power is unstoppable.
Imposing my own sour views on Michael, may have kept in line with my thinking, on my side of any argument, and may have even been easier; however, that would have been selfish and immature. It would have definitely resulted in great consequences and high expense to us both.
I didn’t want Michael to think like me, even if it meant he’d agree with me. I wanted Michael to form his own thoughts and opinions. I didn’t want his heart to be heavy.
I’ve found kids with poor, negative, role models to be greatly burdened. I’ve observed their sunken shoulders, downcast eyes, and have been told about their “belly full of anxiety.” Contentment and happiness seems to escape them. They seemingly know nothing of their personal power.
Today, Michael is a secure, confident, and a forward-focused positive thinker, who has found contentment and happiness. Keeping my shitty thinking to myself “paid off in spades!”
Given Greg’s wish for his children is they too have happiness and confidence, focusing on the positive will lead to exactly those outcomes. I don’t want to ruin the surprise, but the view is spectacular.
Thanks Greg! Keep your chin up.