30 of 100 Dads – Freedom

John H. is Dad to two growing little babies, just 2 and 5. He loves their bright and shiny faces, while envisioning them says, “their smiling faces can turn any bad day.

Surprised by the busy land of parenting, this young Dad is adjusting to a new life and shifting priorities. Now focused on health and happiness for his family, losing touch with other interests can lead to tough decisions.

John shares fresh insight on the early “daze” of parenting.

John, “Your life is going to change significantly, the faster you realize it the better. Going out with your buddies may not happen for months. Tip 1

This loss of freedom was my biggest surprise. Not knowing the impact having a child would have on my freedom truly illustrates my lack of maturity.

I am comforted to know this surprise is not unique to me. There are many of us. I am not alone in the stark awakening.

This lesson is not one a first-time patent can practice. John’s and right, “the sooner the better.”  I immediately got it.

In hindsight, three decades later, I see the lack of freedom is the very thing I needed to improve the quality of my life and the possibilities for my son. I’m glad understood “sooner.”

It is a good reminder. Freedom is limited and it should be. Acceptance is however a process, it can come and go. It’s important to remember, freedom will return.

In my case, I thought things would never change, even though they changed every day. I thought my freedom was gone forever. It may have been a disadvantage of teen parenting, or a lack of perspective, likely a combination of many things.

I want people to be prepared for the lifestyle. It is quite a commitment.

I didn’t know, before long, weeks and even months would pass without my son bursting through the door. I didn’t know someday he wouldn’t need me. I didn’t realize someday my home would have a deafening silence.

I never would have guessed, the freedom I longed for would quickly return, and I would then be missing the busyness that once filled my time. I didn’t know doing a great job would mean I’d be lonely. I didn’t know my returning freedom would leave me feeling empty.

Had I have known these things, I think there may have been more time for love and play. There would have been less focus on hurrying, urgency, and moving to the next stage. Maybe I could have given more attention to focus on slowing down. Which was advised, but not a practice.

Although, this advice was provided I never understood. I am hopeful John’s tip will provide parents with a clearer sense of this reality and a more accurate understanding of the timeline.

Parenting is the most wonderful, most important, most valuable, most rewarding, and most precious “blip” of your life. It will be the most meaningful, and most memorable, source of wonderment anyone can be fortunate enough to experience.

Freedom, meh…it happens before you know it.



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