36 of 100 Dads – Advice

Wayne is a high school teacher and the owner of a martial arts school. He’s the proud step-Dad to three grown children and now a Grandfather to four. It’s great to hear a step-Dad love and gush about his children and his parenting years. He deeply values their influence in his life, as well as the opportunity to provide a positive influence in theirs.

The connection he has with each child and the fun they’ve shared is highlighted by him as his life’s biggest joy. There wasn’t anything he didn’t like about his parenting journey. Wayne was actively involved from the early days and remains involved in all their lives. His participation has always promoted happiness and life fulfillment, which I think is very apparent in his advice to Dads everywhere.

Wayne, “Be careful of whose advice you listen to.Tip 3

Wayne and I share many parenting philosophies and perspectives. His tips brought had a way of bringing me into his world; although we have never met. I could almost see the images and the love shared in my minds eye. What a gift to recognize your influence on not only your own children but also the next generation, and the many other children in all areas of his life.

A life well spent.

I always appreciate a caution to consider the source, as mentioned in Wayne’s third tip. It is important to, “be careful of whose advice you listen to,” the childless, the new parents, seasoned parents, the experts and even your Mom.

In my parenting years there was no Google. My knowledge and ability were limited, and my circle of information was small. At that time, whatever your Mom said was gospel, unquestioned. I now know, my Mom said a lot of wrong things.

She believed her information to be true. Her Mom told her, so how could it not be. Her intention was pure, albeit misguided.

For example, as a child I suffered from severe earaches. Oh, I remember the terror. They were awful. Mom’s home remedy was to blow cigarette smoke in my ear, “to loosen the wax” which was diagnosed by her as the issue. Research now shows, cigarette smoke is linked to ear infections. Yikes!

So, not only was her smoking likely the cause of my ear infection, and not-to-mention-but-to-mention my asthma, it was being used to resolve a problem which it only further aggravated. Sad, but true.

There were many occurrences of myths, home remedies and uneducated guesses on cause and effect. Luckily today information and education are easily accessible. I find myself leery to even provide any opinion, as a lot of what I learned or think to be true may be completely inaccurate.

Although information is more available, some still resist research. There are parents who will trust an unreliable source because it’s easy, fits their narrative or they trust the wrong person.

I strongly believe in parents consulting parents. I love it, Michael was raised on the advice of others; however, do cross check. Consult should just be one source, not the only source. We really don’t know what we don’t know.

Often, as with my Mom, parents are well-intended. My Mom certainly wasn’t trying to aggravate my earache or impair my breathing. It’s possible even a doctor suggested that method she try it. Sometimes they are wrong too. Sometimes teachers are wrong. Sometimes trained professionals are wrong.

I encourage all parents to consider and collect opinions but do research. Consult professionals. There are many issues that arise in parenting that require a professional opinion. We don’t know it all. I am not a parent who thinks we should trust our judgement, guts, or even a Mother’s intuition.

I collected a lot of information and in the end the decision did rest with me. I did what I could to make informed decisions. I gave it my best effort. I was still wrong sometimes.

Exhausting I know.

Thanks, Wayne, for your thoughts, opinions and for working to exhaustion as well.

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