Me, “Even if you do it all, cover A to Z, there will still be more. It never ends.” Tip 19
This tip is where I cheat a lot. I will say, I learned this tactic by other cheating Moms, who just couldn’t squeeze it all in. Moms before me showed me it was ok to bend the rules. It is!
After writing well over 100,000 words I began to get tired of my own thoughts. I speculated the reader would also be tired of my thoughts as well. The problem was I still had so much to say. Summarizing was tough for me. As with parenting I had to “pick my battles;” and as with parenting, I wanted to pick them all.
Even though I have had a long, long time to think about what tips I wanted to choose, and have had the advantage of reading 982 tips, I still couldn’t wrap it up.
Before I started the book, I documented 10 tips. Then I added to that list with new entries to my phone, my iPad and on every scrap of paper I could find. I expected to have ample space, and the enthusiasm, to provide an endless supply of tips, even just my top 100. J
As I opened emails, occasionally I would receive fewer than 10, which provided me more room. Then I would receive more than 10, giving me less room. I was curious to see how the math would work out in the end.
Nearing completion I had compiled 88 tips. My math indicated I only had room for 43 tips. Although writing 43 tips may seem arduous for most, I wondered how I could ever settle on just 43.
Some changes were made and I decided to consult with a mathematical genius (Big Mike). We recalculated, leaving me only 18 tips. Yikes!
With this consideration two things gave me comfort:
- I could cheat. I noticed many Moms before me had tucked numerous tips under one heading and created sub-sections. Brilliant! I adopted this ever-so-clever strategy.
- Although I didn’t have room for ALL my thoughts and tips, I could write another book, so I started my second book, 100 Dads 1000 Tips 1 Million Reasons. Stay tuned!
With some comfort, still I struggled with where to start and where to end. This was a real undertaking and I feel as though I’m short changing the important points below.
I hope that someday I will write more on the list to follow. I do see them as equally important to those that have been expanded on. In the interest of time and word count I wanted to jot them down for the purposes of my recall and your consideration.
Maybe I’ll further develop these ideas when I haven’t tired of my own thoughts.
a. Depersonalize parenting – it’s not about you, it’s about doing the right thing.
b. Travel, however you can, wherever you can.
c. Set high standards and identify small achievable steps.
d. Behave yourself and respect people.
e. Say sorry. When you know better, do better.
f. Explain life can be much more than we believe, or think we know.
g. Contain your ‘shit.’
h. Narrate their world in a positive and progressive way.
i. Be attentive, put your phone down.
j. Negotiate don’t dictate.
k. Conversations not arguments.
m. Be strong.
n. Provide opportunities.
o. Go to the theatre, at least once.
p. Give veggies before supper. During screen time is best.
q. Be transparent.
r. Keep things calm and predictable.
s. Teach about the internet.
t. Talk about the future and who they hope to be, in every aspect.
u. Let them wipe their own bums.
v. Be a team: Parent alliance and Parent/Child alliance. You’re in it together, always.
w. Know your role, it changes.
x. Teachers can be wrong.
y. Be touchy feely. Pull them toward you often. Hugs and kisses.
z. Happiness is everything!
Hard to imagine I “cut back.” I guess with all of this to say, it’s a good thing I’ve written a book.